Theory of Special Operations Forces

Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operation (AO):

* Paratrooper: Kills the snake.

* Armor: Runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.

* Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty . . . Ouch! Hey, that's not a kitty cat."

* Infantry (alt): "Ugh! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake."

* Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Couldn't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake"

* Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.

* Ranger (alt): Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.

* SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.

* Corps Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants are awarded Silver Stars. (Cooks, Mechanics, Legal Clerks etc.)

* Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost

* Combat Controller: Guides the snake elsewhere.

* Para-Rescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.

* Special Forces: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.

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