AIRBORNE JOKE

YOUR FAMILY MIGHT BE TOO HOOAH IF,

  • Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam.
  • You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed in a tactical chow line at five meter intervals
  • Before you hit the road on vacation you conduct rehearsals, back briefs, PCI, and cover your convoy checklist.
  • Your children clear their hand receipt and housing before they go to college.
  • Your wife has more jumps than most LTs in the company.
  • Your kids call the yard their MWR area.
  • You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your floorboard as a part of a tune-up.
  • Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights, OVE, OVM, and has to be properly dispatched.
  • Your kids call their mother "Household 6."
  • Your kids volunteer to pull air guard on the school bus.
  • Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.
  • Your house has sector sketches posted by every window.
  • You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner.
  • Your kids show their meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on separate rations.
  • You make your daughter sign out on pass on Prom Night.
  • Your kindergartner calls recess "smoke break."
  • Your wife calls foreplay "prepping the objective."
  • Your wife conducts an AAR after sex.
  • Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at the Food Lion.
  • You do your "back to school" shopping at the U.S. Cavalry store.
  • Your kids call the tooth fairy "Slicky Boy."
  • Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a "phase three recycle."
  • Your kids salute their grandparents.
  • Your wife's "high-n-tight" is more squared away than your commander's.
  • Your kids get a LES for their allowance.
  • Your grandmother won "All American Week" and "Best Ranger."
  • All your kids have names that start with AR, FM, TM, or DA Form.
  • Your pick-up has your name stenciled on the windshield.
  • Your kids are hand-receipt holders.
  • Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry."
  • Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.
  • Your wife keeps Mermites in the China cabinet.
  • You call your in-laws the "Slice Elements."
  • Your dog's name is "Ranger."
  • All your possessions are military issue.
  • Your kids call their sandbox "NTC or CMTC"
  • You have pull-up bars outside the kitchen door.
  • Your daughter's first haircut was a flattop.
  • Your kids pull fireguard.
  • Your newborn's first words were "all OK Jumpmaster."
  • The only channels you get are CNN, and ESPN.

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