A paratrooper on his first jump was given the following instructions: Jump from the plane and yell "Airborne!" Count to three and your chute will open.

If main shoot doesn't open, pull the reserve ripcord. When you get down on the ground, a truck will pick you up and take you back to the base.

The paratrooper jumped and yelled, "Airborne!" He counted to three and nothing happened.

He then frantically pulled the reserve cord. Nothing happened.

Then the paratrooper said to himself, "Damn, with my luck the truck won't be there to pick me up either!"

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